being twenty-four

posted on: May 29, 2013


A few mornings ago, I started researching MFA programs again. Absent-mindedly. While my brain was full of nothing much, and empty of any damning thoughts. I haven't done that in two years.

So far, twenty-four is feeling a whole lot less anxious than twenty-three did. I like where I live. I like the people I know. I like the job that I do. If there is one thing I learned in the last year, it is that life is long. And that's not to say that life is unbearable or miserable or unsurmountable. It's that there is time. I have time. I have time to be the woman I want to be. I have time to get to the places that I want to get to. This new piece of testimony is tempering the hungriest and sharpest parts of myself. In a good, good way. It's a softer, calmer way to live.

But this MFA business--it means I'm not dead and gone just yet. That things aren't so set and sure. It means that every intimation in my full-of-nothing head can still be an alternate life. That part of me still believes I can have it all. Everything and anything. And everything.

I feel like I've rediscovered a most loved part of my self. And I can't tell you what that means to me. The relief, alone. I don't know how long this head-in-the-clouds, world-is-my-oyster feeling lasts (I'm hoping forever), but I'll take it while I can get it.

To twenty-four.



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4 thought{s}:

  1. Do it. I so loved the MFA program. I woke up happy most days these last two years-- and I credit the MFA program. :)

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  2. Do what you love. 24 will be the best year, but it doesn't even have to be because you have time. So do I. Thanks for reminding me.

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  3. To 24! I'm just impressed with this post...

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  4. Love this post! I remember the exact day I realized the same thing.

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