being twenty-four

posted on: May 29, 2013

A few mornings ago, I started researching MFA programs again. Absent-mindedly. While my brain was full of nothing much, and empty of any damning thoughts. I haven't done that in two years.

So far, twenty-four is feeling a whole lot less anxious than twenty-three did. I like where I live. I like the people I know. I like the job that I do. If there is one thing I learned in the last year, it is that life is long. And that's not to say that life is unbearable or miserable or unsurmountable. It's that there is time. I have time. I have time to be the woman I want to be. I have time to get to the places that I want to get to. This new piece of testimony is tempering the hungriest and sharpest parts of myself. In a good, good way. It's a softer, calmer way to live.

But this MFA business--it means I'm not dead and gone just yet. That things aren't so set and sure. It means that every intimation in my full-of-nothing head can still be an alternate life. That part of me still believes I can have it all. Everything and anything. And everything.

I feel like I've rediscovered a most loved part of my self. And I can't tell you what that means to me. The relief, alone. I don't know how long this head-in-the-clouds, world-is-my-oyster feeling lasts (I'm hoping forever), but I'll take it while I can get it.

To twenty-four.

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4 thought{s}:

  1. Do it. I so loved the MFA program. I woke up happy most days these last two years-- and I credit the MFA program. :)

  2. Do what you love. 24 will be the best year, but it doesn't even have to be because you have time. So do I. Thanks for reminding me.

  3. To 24! I'm just impressed with this post...

  4. Love this post! I remember the exact day I realized the same thing.


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