home (nostalgia, again)

posted on: June 29, 2011


It's a funny thing to find a home.

While I've been in school, I've moved so much. Every nine months or so, I've picked up my little life and moved it across streets and down blocks. I've smoothed sheets on so many new beds in new rooms in new places. I've created my own home with stacks of books, walls of art and photos, piles of clothes, and trash cans full of apple cores. With clean kitchens and enough space to breath, I thought I could feel comfortable almost anywhere. And I have--I love those little rooms that I've made mine.

I thought home was here, in me. That my stacks of stuff pale next to all the things I have hung up inside. That place was almost irrelevant.

But last night I packed a suitcase for a little vacation, and I thought of how I'd be packing everything in just a month or so. I'll pull the unworn socks from my drawers and disassemble that little white bookshelf. I will take all of my stuff away from the tree-lined streets and away from the bumpy roads with hidden stop signs. I will leave the hellish winters and the frozen yogurt places and I won't see Y mountain from my window.

I would just wrap it all up in bubble wrap if I could, and tuck under my elbow and into my ribs.

I'm all about moving forward, but I'll live off of this place for years I expect.



5 thought{s}:

  1. such a beautiful picture! your room looks lovely and cozy. the perfect place to wake up in. finding a home is special, and leaving it is so hard. but keep reminding yourself that home is the people in that little space of yours, and as long as you keep those sweet connections, you're still there.

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  2. Even though I firmly believe home is inside of us or with the people we love, there is something to be said for place, for the people we are and become in each place we go. Would we be the same people if we were born/raised/educated in places different from the ones we called home? I don't think so. And that makes saying goodbye so very bittersweet.

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  3. Gosh I love this and pretty much everything you write. Can you please tell me where you are going and what you are doing?

    Sorry to sound like a mom :)

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  4. i second what mandy said. your writing is superb and you can call me nosy but i definitely want in on where you're off to!

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  5. This is slightly making me love Provo, and slightly making me wish I was outta here. Haha - one day. Can't wait to read/see/hear about where your adventures take you next!

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