i'm having a {way past} mid-education crisis

posted on: January 14, 2010

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I'm an English major.
I can just see your jaws dropping.

But here's the thing.
I've been an English major for all 5.25 semesters of my college life.
I've never been anything else.
And that's always been a source of pride.
I knew what I liked when I was seventeen.
And I still like it.
I love love love it.
I'm not sure I ever imagined how much I would like it.

But in a couple semesters, I'm supposed to do something
with all of this stuff I love.
And that's why that this post happened...
"I just want to matter."
I just want to matter.
I think a lot of you know how that is.
Because I read about you wanting that pretty deeply.

But, what do you do with words and thoughts about saving humanity?
What do you do with all the anthologies you won't sell back?
What do you do with the ragged notebooks and handouts you casually
pull out in conversation because the things you learned mean so much to you.

I know it matters so much to me and my classmates,
but what does it matter to anyone else?

I'm going to figure this out, friends.
Because people wouldn't write and read books, poems, movies, articles, songs, blogs...
if it didn't matter.


I'll, of course, let you know when I start knowing.

10 thought{s}:

  1. i had this same crisis, but i just decided to just keep pushing through and get that diploma in my hand. i may not ever use my major (family finance) as a career, but i sure as heck will use it for my future family. and you know what, it doesn't really matter what you do with your degree. as long as you love it and are happy, just keep doing. :) hope you find some clarity.

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  2. I was an English major for a year...then they told me I had to take four semesters of Spanish...so I changed to English education. It's the best of both worlds--I get to keep my beloved anthologies and pass on my love to teenagers :)

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  3. I know! Isn't it hard to figure out what you want to do with an English degree?? I want to teach when I get mine... I think it will matter and make a difference to someone. I think my teachers have really helped shape who I am, and have inspired me in ways I'm sure I don't even fully understand yet.

    PS. Thanks so much for your encouraging words! I really really really appreciate it, it means a ton to me. I can see through your writing what an amazing influence the Church has been in your life and I am so grateful that I have been able to feel that same influence in mine!

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  4. You'll get it. Because we will both get it. Because we can do this. Haha. Nothing has ever been closer to my heart than this post.

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  5. i'm an art major and i often go into these mini panic attacks too. i always question my ability to actually succeed in the world after college but in the end, if i tried to do anything else it would feel wrong. and if you love english so much, you'll keep doing it and find a way to succeed because you couldn't do anything else.

    oof, SO cornball & cheesy!! :) but i like to think that its ok to be that way sometimes!

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  6. You have my dream major :)

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  7. I studied English Lit at uni for three years and loved it. And then I graduated and struggled with exactly the same questions. But now I'm just finding out exactly what else I love. I'm sure you'll figure it out. I think my best advice came from my current boss when she said, "Try different things out. If you don't love them, move on."

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  8. like everyone else has said - do what you love. that will make all the difference. i am clearly in a state of way- too- late- for- convenience education crisis, which is why i'm considering the U (but if you consider doing graduate school up there you better come play with me!)

    and so since english didn't fit, i switched. life is too short to not make what you can out of it, and not to love it at the same time too!

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  9. i'm an English major too (along with business/accounting...snore). it was and continues to be my love, my passion. it can take you anywhere, trust me.
    xox alison

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  10. I know what you mean. I am EXACTLY the same way Brittany! Always been an English major. I have never loved anything else. The choice was easy.

    I know with our literary knowledge we will matter some day, I know it! I know it!

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