i solomely swear.

posted on: June 26, 2009

Due to several of your recent posts, a certain best friend's approaching wedding, and (I'm a little bit ashamed to say) a couple of bummer reality shows that air on Monday nights...

I have some things to say. About some very important topics.

I have been thinking, quite a lot and for quite a while, about my future. But not just the college/traveling/culinary school/dream job/career part of my future.
I have been thinking a lot about the part where I will find my someone. The part where I will
love and be in love and be loved back. And I think about the little people who will populate my belly and then the little apartment and then the
first home, and the second, and all the homes to follow.

Yes.
I think about my husband.
I think about my kids.
I think about my home.
Even though they are not mine yet.

I think about how much I will love becoming an us and a we. I think that even though I enjoy being a sometimes feminist, I will love curtailing the college/traveling/culinary school/dream job/career part for the we part. I know I will not be perfect in this we deal. He shouldn't be. But he will be mine. And I will be his. And I just can't think of anything more beautiful. I really can't. It will still be beautiful when we fight about paint colors and how to fold socks and chocolate chip cookie recipes. It will be beautiful again when I have morning sickness and then our little people go to kindergarten and blow out birthday candles and ride Splash Mountain for the first time. It will be hard to be beautiful when we are driving to the emergency room or fired from our jobs or even loose the keys. We won't agree on how to raise our little people, especially when they grow taller than us. But we will do it well and we will do it together. Most of all, we will love them. We will love them so much. And we will make a home for our family. The kind of home that people know is different. We will be very real and probably very sarcastic, but we will never never never give up on ourselves. I will not give up on my family. Even when I don't understand my someone and my little people are trying to run away, I will not let them go. Because they will be mine. And we will cry together if we have to. And play. And work. And scream. And laugh. And read. And pray. And snuggle. And adore. We will. I am promising my 20-year-old romantic self, that I will adore and never give up.

I promise my husband
my kids

my home...

the ones I don't have yet,

that I will keep this romantic promise to my romantic self. Because even though they are not mine at this very moment, they mean a whole lot to me. And even though this promise is probably a little too romantic, I feel like it's not so impossible to keep.


{photo by leo patrone}

11 thought{s}:

  1. this is the sweetest post ever. can so relate.

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  2. this post is just the right amount of romantic.
    i love love love it.

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  3. such a wonderful post. makes me get excited about my future. i have found my love now we just have to start the family and home part. So, glad I came upon your blog.

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  4. That was beautiful, my dear. Thank you for that. I loved it.r

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  5. i agree with a cheery disposition...this gets me excited about my future. they are yours--they are, already--you just haven't found them all yet. but they are seeds in your life waiting to bloom. i used to have this very detailed plan. and i think the plans real purpose was/is that when i meet the guy that i'll chuck the whole plan for--well, i will know that that is the guy. this idea isn't too romantic, not at all. have you seen away we go? its a lovely little film and they say, all we can do is be the best people possible for this one little person. don't every give up on these ideals. don't ever settle. i have to believe there are enough of us out there in the world and so we will one day change the world!

    ps: so glad you're enjoying the book and that you decided to comment!

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  6. i think i can completely relate. letting my feminist self be okay with the "we." i can't wait to be in love.

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  7. I have thought a lot about these same things. But you said it so much better than I even thought it.

    Beautiful. Are you a creative writing emphasis? You should be.

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  8. o man um...i'm crying right now?

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  9. i'm completely feeling this post. beside the fact that you write so beautifully, you totally hit the nail on the head... i think these very thoughts just about everyday of my life... all i can do is pray that he is safe and someday i will find him... sigh :)

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  10. oh my! that gave me goose bumps. loved it, thanks girl!

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